If there is anyone who still reads this, I'm sorry that I have not been posting more regularly. I think my last one was right before I got hit with morning sickness. Sam has been going to school since January and absolutely loves it. How very fortunate we are to have the program that he is in available to us! We have seen many specialists over the past few months and have felt a bit overwhelmed by the information that we have learned. We do know that we are going to have to get Sam some more intensive therapy in order to have him caught up for school in 2 and a half years. Our insurance will only cover a small amount of it, but we are certain that this is what he needs, no matter the sacrifice. We were able to get a second opinion on Sam this past week. The plastic surgeon and speech pathologist both agreed that there was no way that he could speak correctly with the way his palate is now. We have a surgery scheduled for August 20th. These decisions certainly do not get easier. I think of how hard it was to hand him over to the surgeons as a baby and thinking how terrible it was. Now, I am thinking that this will be even harder because he will know what is going on. Please, please continue to pray for Sam. We have been told that he needs to see a neurologist again. This worries us because we know that Sam is so far behind. We have to remind ourselves that no matter what is diagnosed that God is still capable of miracles. We have been working with him on his colors. It's something that my other kids just picked up through reading books and day to day stuff. With Sam, it is totally different. We're not even sure if he sees colors correctly. This small skill that we are trying to teach him seems to be a bit overwhelming at times. Please pray that we will be able to figure out the best way to help him.

School is in...

Sam has been in school for over a week now. I will tell you that the first day I dropped him off, I felt so sick. I was doubting the decision that we had made. I called Jeff and asked if I could go back and pick him up. He reassured me that we should at least give it a try. It was a decision that we had made and had felt that it was the best way to help him. So, I left him there for the first day and he seemed happy when I picked him up. Since he cannot tell me how it was, I was curious to see if he would cry the second day when I dropped him off. So, on the second day, he just walked right in and waved bye to me. It kind of hurt my feelings. :) He absolutely loves school. He is improving too. His teachers are all so nice and they reassure me everyday about how well that he is doing. She even said, "I know you are worried. But, please know that he never cries and he smiles the whole day. He loves it." I am so impressed with the whole program. What a great thing to offer for families with kids who have developmental delays. And it's free. After paying Susanna's tuition every month, I appreciate that! There is one teacher and three assistants in the classroom with 6 kids. What a great ratio. He also has 3 therapists that work with him throughout the week. We are so grateful for the way God has guided us and calmed out hearts about this decision.

Sam had a check up this past week with the pediatrician. He made the growth chart for the first time. Woohoo! We are so excited to report that he is in the 3rd percentile for his weight. The doctor was amazed that he was doing so well. He said that this was the healthiest that Sam has ever looked. This pediatrician is a Christian and is a constant encouragement to us. I have come in there many times very down and discouraged, and he always reminds me that God chose us to be Sam's parents and He will see us through. I knew this but am beginning to see this.

Thank you Lord, for helping our Sam. We are confident that you have your hand on him and that you have a very special plan for him.

Where's Sam?

This is where you will usually find Sam. He eats all of his meals and about 4-5 other times too. His favorite thing is cereal. I don't know why he won't grow. His appetite is a bottomless pit!

My Big Boy...

I dropped Sam off at school today for the first time. And, well. it wasn't easy. I have been pretty nauseous all morning just thinking about him and wondering if it was the right decision. He, of course, was fine. He just walked right in and went to play with a new friend. The teacher was very nice and went out of her way to make sure everything went smoothly. Is parenting always like this? I don't think I realized how many decisions you have to make for your children. I'm terrible at making decisions anyway. It's so easy for me to question and analyze everything and wonder if I am leading or guiding my children as they should be lead. Yet, God in his amazing love, gives me assurance when I feel very unassured, that He is Sam's father. He loves him even more than we do. I find comfort in that today. Sorry... I don't ever mean for this to sound preachy. I'm just reminding myself of His promises concerning our children.


I have many more updates on Sam and will post them later. Gotta go pick up my baby!

Good Bye and Hello!

Today marked the last day of our physical therapy, yesterday was the last day of speech therapy, and Friday is the end of special therapy. He will be moving on to a new program in January since he is turning 3 this week. I thought that I would be glad for therapy to come to an end. It will be an end to driving to Marshville back and forth and quick cleaning my house before the therapist gets here and I thoroughly embarrass my self. But it has been incredibly sad. These therapists have blessed us so much by their love for Sam and dedication to see him improve. This program has been such a huge help for us when we were so unsure of how to help Sam. I cannot thank them enough. I felt so silly trying to find them gift cards in small amounts. How can you repay someone who loves your child and cheers them on to new levels? Today, as we were leaving his therapy session, I just started to cry having to leave them. Don't worry, they all have seen me cry many times. I guess that is another reason why it is hard. They know and understand the difficulties Sam has faced and the ones he will face. They have heard my worries and my hopes for Sam. Thank you God for bringing each of them into our lives! My mission is to get the word out about this wonderful program so that it can help other families as much as it has helped us.

Sam has finished up all evaluations and has been placed in a class starting in January. He will be going to "school" Monday through Friday and will be receiving his therapy there. He will be eating breakfast and lunch there. I was able to go and visit last week and was very impressed. This is a tough decision to make but we feel that this is the best for our Sam. I have heard so many great things about this program and wonderful testimonies on how much it has helped different children. So, we are going to give it a try. But we are sure that Sam will love this especially since the room is like a huge playroom with an art center, a music center, cars, and balls,etc... The teachers were very nice and seemed to love what they do. But. it's still going to be incredibly hard to send him.

A Busy Week

The past few weeks have been so busy with appointments. We have practically lived in our car. Tomorrow, we will see the airway specialist who will review Sam's x-rays. Then, we will be visiting the school that Sam will be attending in January. I can't believe that my little Sam will be going to school. This breaks my heart and was such a hard decision to make. I feel like we are trading in his early years at home with me for therapy. I met with 6 therapists last week at the school so that they could evaluate him. I was filling out papers and they were discussing and analyzing Sam's every move. It was a little overwhelming but they did do everything that they could to make me comfortable. They were all very nice. I did voice my concerns and hesitations in committing Sam to this program but they did explain something to me that I had not thought about before. That yes, Sam will be receiving lots of intense therapy now, but the goal is for Sam to not have to receive any by the time he reaches school age when he will notice that he is different. On Thursday, we will be meeting again to hear their recommendations for what kind of services they feel will best help Sam. Please continue to pray for his development. His speech needs so much work and we have yet to figure out why he cannot yet speak very well. I know that Sam has such a great future and God's hand is on him.

Lastly, I wanted to ask you to pray for this family. I have been reading her blog for quite a while now and am always so blessed and encouraged by what she writes. I do not know her but just came upon her blog when doing a search on symptoms that Sam was having. Sam's problems do not even compare to what they have been through with their son. Her son's name is Noah and he needs your prayers. They have been through so much and his health is not good. Yet, they continue to praise our Lord. They do not have a diagnosis yet for their son but he is in the hospital and not doing too well. I promise that you will be blessed if you are able to read her blog. I think that they have 7 kids with one on the way. It's funny how we come across certain people that the Lord writes on our heart and this is a child that I have on mine. Please pray for Noah's healing!

Sam the Man

Updates

Well, we have seen so many specialists in the past few weeks. However, not much has changed. They all feel that there is something wrong with Sam with his breathing and lack of growth. We have seen an allergy specialist, the ear specialist, the breathing specialist as well as the pediatrician. One doctor recommended that Sam get an x-ray of his adenoids done. He felt that it may be the cause for his increasingly heavy breathing. We did that today and will probably know something tomorrow. As far as his therapy goes, Sam is making some strides with his physical therapy. He is trying his best to keep up with Elijah. It is really hard to see Eli do so many things so naturally while Sam struggles to do them very unnaturally. He is not making much improvement with his speech lately. Jeff and I are considering putting him in more therapy. It will be very expensive but well worth it, I am sure. Tomorrow, I will be visiting the school that Sam will be going to in January. Please pray for us. The thought of Sam going to school just scares me being that he is only three. He just seems so little. I do have a friend who's son has some similar problems as Sam. She said that the school has helped her son out so much. I hope so. He will then be evaluated to see how much therapy he will need as well as how many days he will need to go. My prayers are that Sam will be able to be caught up by the time he reaches school age. We definitely have our work cut out for us.

Yea!

Just a quick update... Yesterday, Sam had the best physical therapy session he has ever had. He climbed on all of the equipment, walked on the treadmill, and climbed up the stairs, all without crying. I'd like to take this moment to thank... I'm just kidding. But we do get excited about these little steps. Thank you God!

The Appointments

Last week ,we met with the plastic surgeon, the general surgeon, and the eye doctor. The plastic surgeon is requesting that Sam have a food allergy test run. He felt that Sam was breathing a little too hard and that combined with little growth can be a sign for a food allergy. We have suggested this before but with no luck. So, we are talking with our insurance company to see if this will be covered. Also, he said that we will wait a little longer on the palate surgery to decide if the palate is what is causing his speech problems. He also asked that we get his hearing re-evaluated. The eye doctor said that his eyes were doing much better. He will still need to wear his glasses but there is a lot of hope that he will grow out of his eye problems. We lost his glasses last week at the fair the night before his eye appointment. I asked all of our family to pray that we find them because they are so expensive. Well, we found them but they were so trampled that they were almost unrecognizable. Thankfully, we had insurance on them and we ordered new lenses. Lastly, the general surgeon thought that his stomach still looked a little too red and would like to see him again this week.

All of Sam's appointments seem to run in cycles. He has quite a few more this next week and then we will be slowing down a little bit. Thank you all for your prayers

Tough Guy

Today, we meet with the plastic surgeon. We will be planning when the next surgery will be. I'll keep everyone updated.
I put this picture on here because Sam is always falling down, but he hardly ever cries. Most of the time, he's still smiling, just like in the picture.

Post-Op

Sam is doing so well! He is the toughest kid I know. He is on some pain medication but has had only one dose today. When it starts hurting him, he will point to his tummy and say OW! He never cries about it. He even loves to show off his little bullet wound (that's what it looks like!). I think that he just loves the attention when he lifts up his shirt and everyone says, Oh, Poor thing! He is so cute. He gets the biggest grin when he gets any sympathy. We have an awesome small group that has brought us meals every day since Thursday. We are so thankful for the friends that God has put in our lives that lift Sam up in prayer, even though I feel a little bad accepting these because he is doing so good. Thank you all for your prayers. God is so good! Oh, and this was also the best Sam has ever done coming out of anesthesia.

Surgery Update

Sam's surgery will be this Thursday. The Doctor will be repairing the sight where his feeding tube used to be. Thank you all for your prayers. It always comforts us to know that there are people all over lifting him up in prayer. We feel those prayers and are continually strenghtened and blessed through them. God bless you all!

Uncle Tim and Aunt Katie

Sam's Progress

It has been a long time. We have gotten results back from Sam's genetic test. Since we are unsure of what the diagnosis means, I would rather not write it out. But, I will say that they did find an abnormality but it is so new that they are unsure what symptoms it will cause. So we are determining how much more testing we would like our family to undergo or if this is enough. We are leaning towards the latter. As far as his growth, Sam went to the endocrinologist today and he has gained.....2 and a half pounds. Yea! He has grown 1 centimeter. Yep...1 centimeter, but we'll take it. The doctor assured us that this is good that he's gaining before growing. That way, he will not end up looking like he's been in some sort of war camp.
As far as surgery goes, Sam will be having a small procedure done on his stomach where his feeding tube once was. It has begun to leak every time he drinks anything. We will be meeting with the surgeon on Thursday to plan the surgery and will know the date then. The thought of having another surgery is kind of scary. Sam does not react well to anesthesia. The older he gets, I think it will be harder to have these surgeries because he is well aware of the fact that the doctor's office visits and hospitals are generally a scary thing.
He is doing a great job with his walking. He runs now and loves it! He loves to chase his brothers around the house and is pretty fast. We are so proud of him!

Our Hope

Well, we saw the geneticist on Thursday. It went pretty much how I expected it to go. He, along with a genetic counselor and 2 interns, measured and examined Sam . Sam must have piqued their curiosity. It kind of reminded me of the movie ET when he is captured by the scientists. It is pretty terrible for your child to be examined like this. I know that they are just doing their job, but I sometimes wonder if they realize how hard it is on the parents to discuss the abnormalities of their child. I guess that if God is not allowed to be in the discussion, it does make for a gloomy outlook. But don' t they know that we serve an awesome God and no prognosis is set in stone? He is our Hope and He is Sam's creator. Sam was not a slip up and He created Sam perfectly how He wanted Him to be. I have to hold on to these truths and cling to the promise that God will heal him one day, I just wish that they could comfort the parents rather than be so matter of fact. Yes, give it to me straight up, but don't forget to remind us that our children are not a mistake and that God has a wonderful plan for their lives. As you can tell, this gets me a little fired up. He told us that some of Sam's features are not like mine or Jeff's. You would think that that would be a good thing. He also thought that Sam has some type of syndrome or chromosomal abnormality. There is a new chromosome test that has been developed since Sam was born. So, they took his blood, successfully I might add, and we will know in 2-3 weeks. He seemed pretty sure that we would find something that would explain Sam's health and developmental issues. Please pray for us as we await these results. Pray that God would calm our anxious hearts.

Sam is in His Hands

Sam is continuing to have his growth hormone shots. He started off with quite a bang, but now is hardly eating anything. I will be calling his doctor in the morning as I think he is losing weight. This is so weird for Sam because he is such a good eater. I was not told that this could be an effect of the hormone, so we will see. He is also seeing the geneticist this week. If anyone has ever taken a child to a geneticist, you know that it is one of the most terrifying places to take them. They measure and discuss almost every feature on their body. You begin to think that you have bred an alien and they are trying to figure out exactly where they are from. It's not that bad, but almost. Everything is looked at and you begin to wonder if they could find something wrong with everyone. I have been doing alot of research on the internet which is not good for a Mom to do. It can scare you. I do still feel that Sam and his metabolism is not quite right. He continues to have the same symptoms that I am worried about such as sweating terribly,breathing too hard, tires out easily,extremely thirsty,etc,, I did come across another Mom's blog whose child was having very similar symptoms as Sam. Anyways, they are going through the same things we were going through with Sam when he had to have his feeding tube put in. He is only 1, but it reminded me of all the things that Sam has been through and how God has brought us through so much. He is an amazing God. As I think back of what He has done for us and brought us through, I am reassured that He is going to bring us through once again. Sometimes, my prideful heart will wonder why the Israelites ever doubted God. Didn't he continue to deliver them time after time? Yet, they doubted Him. They couldn't grasp the fact that God would get them through. They lost their hope, faith, and trust. They were probably worried about their own kids and their kids' futures. They tried to take everything into their own hands, even though God was right there. But that same worry and lack of trust kept them out of the Promised Land. That worry and fear can keep us, too, from seeing God's Word fulfilled in our own lives. Lord, help me to know that You love Sam more than I do. Help me trust you with his future and continue to remind me of his past. You have delivered Him through it all and will continue to do so. II Corinthians 1:18-20

Yea For Sam!

Oops... Today, I accidentally scheduled two appointments for the same time for Sam. They both were coming to the house. I can be so scatter-brained sometimes. So, we had to cancel Sam's speech therapy. I hate that we will not have it this week. It is what he needs most. Sam's coordinator and an occupational therapist came over for an evaluation to see if he needed occupational therapy. Sam did really well with all of his fine motor skills (things like holding a pencil, stacking blocks, feeding himself with a spoon, drawing, etc...) He actually scored average. Yea! His self-help skills(putting a shirt on, washing his hands,potty training and brushing his teeth) were a little low. The therapist said that this is because his physical development is behind and that he just started walking. She said that walking usually has to be mastered before these will fall into place. She did believe that Sam will catch up on these soon. Bottom line: Sam does not qualify for Occupational therapy at this time. Yea! It was great to hear how well he was doing for a change. I needed to hear some positive things. She was very impressed with his social skills and his fine motor. So, Sam will continue receiving speech, physical, and play therapy for the next year, but no occupational therapy. Way to go, Sam!



We are going to begin potty-training Sam after our little vacation next week. The other kids began when they turned two and did well. Sam, on the other hand, I don't know if he will notice that he is wet. He has never seemed to care to have his diaper changed. I have tried to sit him on the potty and he gets terrified. I don't know why he is scared of it. I am going to have to be a little creative to make it very fun for him. We'll see what we can come up with. I know he'll get the hang of it eventually. He's a smart cookie like his DaddyMommy.

Evaluations

Sam had his evaluation done this week on his fine motor skills, gross motor skills, speech, and cognitive skills. These evaluations are so scary. You are told what level they are on and how far that they are behind. It has yet to be a pleasant experience. Everyone involved in the evaluating is so nice, it's just that the results are often not what you want to hear. They recommended that Sam continue in the three therapies that he is receiving as well as start occupational therapy. His results for cognitive was 27 months which is right on target. But, as far as the rest, they ranged from 13 months to about 20 months. Whenever we get discouraging news, I try to only spend one day upset. Then, get up, give it to the Lord, and move on it. This isn't always the case, but I do try. So, the positive outlook is that it could have been much worse. Sam could have ranked much lower cognitively or on the other hand, he could have just barely passed which would have disqualified him from getting the therapy that he needs.





Today, Sam went to the plastic surgeon. He said he thought all along that Sam should have been on the growth hormones. He even contacted Sam's pediatrician several times about it. We had no idea! He said he has seen such great results with it. That is always good to hear. He wants to correct the palate eventually. It is too short on one side. He thinks that Sam is still too small for another surgery and we will see him again in three months. I am glad to wait.



Thank you all for praying with us! I cannot thank you enough.

Weight Gain

Sam has gained 4 pounds since these shots have started. No, I am not kidding. He has increased his body weight by about 20 percent. Jeff and I were carrying him yesterday and could not believe how much heavier he felt. We took him to the scale and sure enough, he has gained weight. He is still adjusting to the shots. When he sees me getting it ready, he will start to cry. Hopefully, he will get used to them a bit more. I know, who gets used to a shot, right? Thank you all for your prayers. Tomorrow, Sam will be having a speech evaluation. On Wednesday, we meet with the plastic surgeon. Please pray as we make plans for Sam's future surgeries.